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Meeting God in the mundane + Finding joy and grace in the mess of motherhood, ministry, and urban missions

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the doing will teach you what you need to know

August 21, 2018 Jacqui
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It's the most perfect Cleveland summer day, about 80 degrees with a breeze, the sunlight peeking through green, leafy tree branches as if to steal a glance at us basking in its welcome warmth. It's not too hot; it's just right. The breeze isn't so cold as to require a sweater or blanket but just cool enough to wick the moisture off our freckled, sun-kissed arms. 

These aren't difficult realizations––the fact that my body zeroed in on the most temperate, enjoyable weather. I don't have to be convinced to cover up when I'm cold or turn my face upward to catch the warmth of the sun. These are just things I know how to do. You probably do, too.

I've been thinking, because I love to mentally sort out all the things and follow the maze of the golden cord that holds the secrets of the universe, unraveling it from the bigger picture one thread at a time. Something I've concluded lately is that we know a lot more than we give ourselves credit. That translating the heartbeat of our souls is not, in fact, some grand mystery, but it's simply opening our eyes to see what's right in front of us and the things we already know….

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In Writing, Photos Tags Dreams, Writing, Goals
2 Comments

9 things I learned this spring

May 30, 2018 Jacqui
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I'm linking up with Emily P. Freeman's "What We Learned" series this month, where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future. Do you set aside time to examine your own life? It's not something I'm naturally good at, but these posts remind me to slow down and pay attention. 

Here's what I learned this spring in no particular order:

1. Living with a diabetic is harder than I thought it would be.

Type 1 Diabetes is a disease that never sleeps, but I read the other day that there’s a 1 in 20 chance she could die in hers. I wish I hadn't seen that, but there’s no way to "unknow" it now. It’s been almost a year and a half since her diagnosis, and we’ve been functioning as her pancreas for every single one of those days. On one hand, it’s an incredible blessing to be able to do so, and on the other, it can be exhausting. The past three months it’s been particularly challenging to manage her unpredictable blood sugar levels….

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In Writing Tags Spring, emily p. freeman, What I Learned, Type 1 Diabetes
4 Comments

HELP WANTED

May 8, 2018 Jacqui
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We were running late....again.

The school has a new attendance policy this year, and we’re already on the naughty list for being late one too many times. Okay, probably twenty too many times, but who’s counting. Well, the school is, obviously, but that’s not the point.

The point is, we were already behind schedule trying to get out the door this morning when a kid somehow flung a cup of soda (leftover on the table from the night before [insert snarky eye-roll emoji here]) all over the kitchen. Like, ALL OVER. Said child took time we didn’t have to “clean it up,” but after he left I stepped in a big puddle of sticky soda on the floor and looked up to find it also amply splattered on the blinds. And puddled in the crevices of the computer monitor. And peppering a once-clean, folded pile of shirts….

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In Writing Tags City Life, Cleveland, Love Your Neighbor, Cleveland Bloggers, City Stories
2 Comments

Gentle Grace

April 17, 2018 Jacqui
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I finished the book of John today (which is not actually today as in this very day but today as in when I started writing this post, which was probably a week ago now. Because I have a finishing problem. And a distraction problem. And a sick kid problem. But I digress….). I’d started reading it well before Easter. Not even the entire book, mind you--just the part at the end leading up to the crucifixion.

I’ve learned over the years to be gentle with myself in some areas, though, and reading Scripture is one of them. The Holy Spirit isn’t tethered to the dusty Bible on my nightstand, but rather, He’s alive in my heart and is with me always, whether or not I succeed in reading the Word daily. I’m not always capable of living life how I think it should be lived under ideal circumstances, but what I am capable of doing is living the actual life that’s right in front of me, for better or worse.

But I’ve gotten caught up in the proverbial blank page of my writing life since the beginning of the year, and I don’t like it....

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In Writing Tags Blogging, Cleveland Bloggers
2 Comments

The Sunshine Blogger Award

February 19, 2018 Jacqui
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I was nominated for this award by the lovely Peggi at Real Life by Peggi Tustan, and I decided to participate because it looked like a fun way to encourage other bloggers and build connections! Also, there are few things easier to write about than oneself. So, whether you're new to this space or have been around from the beginning, here's a little about me:

Why did you start blogging? It kind of happened by accident. In 2013 I started a blog simply as a way to corral all my daily photo collages into one place. It was just about the photos at first, but I gradually began to step out of my comfort zone and talk about the things God was teaching me. The more I wrote, the more I realized this was how I processed my thoughts and feelings best. I've always wanted my writing to mean something, to encourage others, and to make a difference. Words are powerful, and naively or otherwise, I wanted to use mine to change the world, or at least how people perceive it.

“I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say.”
― Flannery O'Connor

Who is your favorite blogger? Currently? Probably Shannan Martin. In a lot of ways, I feel like she's experienced the same upside-down journey as we have since moving to the city over a decade ago. Her posts resonate with my heart, she's not afraid of asking tough questions, and she inspires me to love well, especially when it's hard.

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In Writing Tags Blogging, Cleveland Bloggers, About Me, Sunshine Blogger Award
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HELLO!


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I'm Jacqui, the mom behind the camera. Wife of one + momma to five. Writer + speaker. Unqualified philosopher + theologian. Accidental mentor. Chaos manager. Lover of coffee + wine, perspective, and Jesus. Truth teller. Freedom fighter. Worth affirmer. Wanna-be author + world changer. Occasional cusser. Laundry piler. Emoji enthusiast. It's nice to meet you!

I hope you'll stay awhile and take a look at life through my lens, as I seek to find joy in the mess and walk with God through the beauty of everyday life.

 

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Year three, buddy. Let’s give it all we’ve got. 🌬🎂🎉 Also, please note that his birthday was actually the 6th. #5thkidproblems #wecannotbegoodatallthethings 🤷🏼‍♀️
Year three, buddy. Let’s give it all we’ve got. 🌬🎂🎉 Also, please note that his birthday was actually the 6th. #5thkidproblems #wecannotbegoodatallthethings 🤷🏼‍♀️
It’s the last day of school for the week, and the only thing I L💗VE more than Friday is a Thursday that feels like one. Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all!

Also, if someone signs up for your mailing list with an email address that literally reads, “stuffiwontread@______.com”, that’s a good sign, right? 🧐 Asking for a friend. 😂
It’s the last day of school for the week, and the only thing I L💗VE more than Friday is a Thursday that feels like one. Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all! Also, if someone signs up for your mailing list with an email address that literally reads, “stuffiwontread@______.com”, that’s a good sign, right? 🧐 Asking for a friend. 😂
Sweet girl, when’s the last
time you saw your reflection
and thought, “it is good”?
2/11/19

#dailyhaiku
Sweet girl, when’s the last time you saw your reflection and thought, “it is good”? 2/11/19 #dailyhaiku
#ifgathering2019 🔥🔥🔥
#ifgathering2019 🔥🔥🔥
There’s a Soup-er Bowl party every year at church where we all cook up our tastiest batch of soup as a dinner offering, with a side of competition. And also jalapeños, in this case. My culinary brainchild (to which my daughter said, “what does that mean?!?! 🧐😂) this year is Hot Pickle Cheese Soup. It will either be the hottest new trend in cooking or complete crap (likely somewhere in between, but that lacks the dramatic flare I naturally gravitate towards, so 🤷🏼‍♀️💃🏻). Will report back. 👌🏻♥️🥒🧀
There’s a Soup-er Bowl party every year at church where we all cook up our tastiest batch of soup as a dinner offering, with a side of competition. And also jalapeños, in this case. My culinary brainchild (to which my daughter said, “what does that mean?!?! 🧐😂) this year is Hot Pickle Cheese Soup. It will either be the hottest new trend in cooking or complete crap (likely somewhere in between, but that lacks the dramatic flare I naturally gravitate towards, so 🤷🏼‍♀️💃🏻). Will report back. 👌🏻♥️🥒🧀
What’s the most logical thing to do in the midst of a polar vortex, you ask? Go swimming. Obviously. 😂 We have some pretty cool (crazy? 🤪) friends who roll like that, though, & they blessed us with an overnight stay at a hotel. ♥️ Food, friends, games, & fun. Also, a lack of level zero voices & noise complaints. We cannot be good at all the things. Bless. 💃🏻😜
What’s the most logical thing to do in the midst of a polar vortex, you ask? Go swimming. Obviously. 😂 We have some pretty cool (crazy? 🤪) friends who roll like that, though, & they blessed us with an overnight stay at a hotel. ♥️ Food, friends, games, & fun. Also, a lack of level zero voices & noise complaints. We cannot be good at all the things. Bless. 💃🏻😜
I mean, it’s worth a thought. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 Just sayin. 😋🌮 #tacotuesday #itssimplytuesday
I mean, it’s worth a thought. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 Just sayin. 😋🌮 #tacotuesday #itssimplytuesday
Day 12 // PROGRESS
.
“We’re created in 
the image of God, we bruised 
and battered people.

And this is WORSHIP:
the seeing rightly of us
and calling it GOOD.”
.
I still write best late at night, a little bleary-eyed from truth, a glass of wine in hand (Riesling, please), the words doing the hard work of building a bridge from my heart out into the world, one character at a time.

I looked back over those lines above, hastily written in my Story last night, and thought, DAYUM...that sounds good! 😂😇 (Humility is a work in progress, y’all) But WHY does it sound so good? 🧐 Oh, right. It’s a haiku, or at least I think it is. And can you string two of them together like I just did? I don’t know these things. Also, how can such depth, truth, wonder, and magic be contained in so few syllables? And how does poetry speak the language of the soul? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not sure about that either.

What I can say definitively today, however, is Progress Shmogress. Let’s keep showing up as our truest selves, and I have a feeling “progress” will take care of itself. ♥️ #hopewriterlife @hopewriters
.
P.S. I bet you’ll never be able to guess which feet are mine. 😂😂😂
Day 12 // PROGRESS . “We’re created in the image of God, we bruised and battered people. And this is WORSHIP: the seeing rightly of us and calling it GOOD.” . I still write best late at night, a little bleary-eyed from truth, a glass of wine in hand (Riesling, please), the words doing the hard work of building a bridge from my heart out into the world, one character at a time. I looked back over those lines above, hastily written in my Story last night, and thought, DAYUM...that sounds good! 😂😇 (Humility is a work in progress, y’all) But WHY does it sound so good? 🧐 Oh, right. It’s a haiku, or at least I think it is. And can you string two of them together like I just did? I don’t know these things. Also, how can such depth, truth, wonder, and magic be contained in so few syllables? And how does poetry speak the language of the soul? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not sure about that either. What I can say definitively today, however, is Progress Shmogress. Let’s keep showing up as our truest selves, and I have a feeling “progress” will take care of itself. ♥️ #hopewriterlife @hopewriters . P.S. I bet you’ll never be able to guess which feet are mine. 😂😂😂
Day 11 // FEELING

You know the Enneagram 4’s have been waiting all week for this one, right? 🙌🏻😉 In other news, I sobbed uncontrollably again tonight while watching the bonus content in The Greatest Showman about the creation of the song This Is Me and the subsequent discovery of Keala Settle (the Bearded Lady). You guys, if you can get your hands on this 10 minute clip, WATCH IT. And while I’m still unpacking the origin of such a visceral reaction, I will say this: when you “are” your feelings as I am most days (#enneagram4problems), the shame you experience and inflict upon yourself as a result this is palpable. It’s tangible, undeniable, and vivid. It can feel more true and real than God. Deep cuts the message, the lingering wound, that I’m missing something vital, important, something everyone else seems to have but I lack.
.
“The sharpest words wanna cut me down,” she sings, and from my experience, the most lethal ones come from within. They wield the longest blade and penetrate the deepest caverns of my soul. Unseen from the outside, their abuse goes unnoticed. Shame is the ultimate assassin, but I will not let it have the last word. There is freedom in being rightly named, and I will sing it over and over and over again until it rings true:
.
“I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me”
.
#hopewriterlife @hopewriters
Day 11 // FEELING You know the Enneagram 4’s have been waiting all week for this one, right? 🙌🏻😉 In other news, I sobbed uncontrollably again tonight while watching the bonus content in The Greatest Showman about the creation of the song This Is Me and the subsequent discovery of Keala Settle (the Bearded Lady). You guys, if you can get your hands on this 10 minute clip, WATCH IT. And while I’m still unpacking the origin of such a visceral reaction, I will say this: when you “are” your feelings as I am most days (#enneagram4problems), the shame you experience and inflict upon yourself as a result this is palpable. It’s tangible, undeniable, and vivid. It can feel more true and real than God. Deep cuts the message, the lingering wound, that I’m missing something vital, important, something everyone else seems to have but I lack. . “The sharpest words wanna cut me down,” she sings, and from my experience, the most lethal ones come from within. They wield the longest blade and penetrate the deepest caverns of my soul. Unseen from the outside, their abuse goes unnoticed. Shame is the ultimate assassin, but I will not let it have the last word. There is freedom in being rightly named, and I will sing it over and over and over again until it rings true: . “I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be, this is me Look out 'cause here I come And I'm marching on to the beat I drum I'm not scared to be seen I make no apologies, this is me” . #hopewriterlife @hopewriters
Obligatory after-school photo (and also, a hat tip to the teachers who watched them all pile illegally into the van and didn’t say a word). 👌🏻😂 #theirfacessaiditall #carryon #motheroftheyear
Obligatory after-school photo (and also, a hat tip to the teachers who watched them all pile illegally into the van and didn’t say a word). 👌🏻😂 #theirfacessaiditall #carryon #motheroftheyear
 

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