wake up from the dream

October 22, 2017 Jacqui

I opened my Notes today to write a post about how I'm overwhelmed and dragging with all of this writing, that all my preparations have dried up and I'm feeling the burden of deadline. But what I found instead was this freestyle poem (?) I started a while ago and never finished. So I finished it today. We'll just celebrate that small victory for now and not get too caught up in tomorrow.

It's about the tension that exists between the girl I used to be and the woman I am now. It's about waking up to real life and not just existing in the haze, but how do you get there? How do you build bridges between two different realities? How do you effectively connect people to people and resources to needs? I'm still trying to figure it all out.

Also, I'm not sure what to title it. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to chat in the comments!

The Currency of Souls

I used to get angry at the ignorance

Thinking, how could it be that you cannot see

All of the privilege right here in front of me

Most of the world perceives it, how is it you can't

Inside my head is this ongoing rant

This desperation for the blindness to cease

For people to wake up, their world to increase

Call materialism what it is: Infectious disease

Our lusts and passions we're seeking to please

When all the while the world is crying, dying

Waiting for men to turn from the lying

The wool they pull over their own eyes

To hide the poverty they've grown to despise

It's no surprise

They're trying to find purpose in comfort and things

Pantries full, closets stuffed, pearls, diamond rings

Homes are huge and overflowing

Our bellies, our brains, our hipster churches keep growing

But how do you connect those minds to the streets,

Compel care about the endless needs to meet?

Connect people who’ve never wanted for anything

With those who only know love as neglecting?

The at-risk youth who’ve never left the city

With kids from the burbs--the other half, sitting pretty?

These are the questions that plague me at night

Because once you’re woke, you can’t unsee the plight

Of those who are broken, enslaved to the enemy

How do you overcome this cultural dichotomy?

Then I remember the soft whispers of the Spirit

On my own journey, refusing to hear it

Beckoning me downward, poured out, and lower,

Into a life of blessings bleeding over

Coloring the tidy whiteness I once held so dear

Messy and uncomfortable, but I had nothing to fear

For it’s when we come to the end of ourselves,

Of our knowledge, understanding, idols on shelves

That we find life that is Christ, we finally behold

Called to store up treasure in the currency of souls

We must be willing to burst our safe bubbles

To step into the lives of others filled with troubles.

To invest in the city comes at great cost

But the heart of Christ seeks after the lost

So Lord Jesus, keep making in me

A relentless pursuit of eternity

This post is part of a series I’m writing for the month of October called, 31 Ways God Paved the Road to Urban Missions. If you’re interested in the reading the rest of the series, you can find it here. To receive these posts directly in your inbox every week, subscribe below!

HELLO!

I'm Jacqui, the mom behind the camera. Wife of one + momma to five. Writer + speaker. Unqualified philosopher + theologian. Accidental mentor. Chaos manager. Lover of coffee + wine, perspective, and Jesus. Truth teller. Freedom fighter. Worth affirmer. Wanna-be author + world changer. Occasional cusser. Laundry piler. Emoji enthusiast. It's nice to meet you!

I hope you'll stay awhile and take a look at life through my lens, as I seek to find joy in the mess and walk with God through the beauty of everyday life.

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Right now I’m struggling with....transition. That’s really what it is. I typed this out earlier today and couldn’t pinpoint the right word. Is it discipline? Efficiency? Time management? Motivation? No. Well, omg yessss to all of the above, but that’s not quite it. A general sense of “where do I go from here?” and “how do I do this?” and “what next?” has permeated my thoughts lately because for the first time in my career (🤔) as a stay at home mom, I have to figure out how to squeeze something else in. I need to schedule “working hours” into my day for writing (Another struggle? Confidence. Can I even call myself a writer? Or is that crazy talk?), ministry, and non-profit management. Non-kid-centered, exciting, adult things. 🙌🏻🎉 But also scary, new, sometimes overwhelming things. To all of you work-at-home moms—how do you do it? What is your process? And what the heck do I do with my very busy, very mischievous, nap-boycotting 2 year old? Asking for a friend. 🤷🏼‍♀️ #10thingstotellyou

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Eva the Diva. First day of kindergarten. 💗 I got a call from the nurse this morning before lunch—her blood sugar was 54 (it’s supposed to be between 80-180). 😳 At snack in the afternoon she was 74, so a bit low but not terrible. We’ve been trying to get her a pump since February (there is an unbelievable amount of red tape and denials and waiting‼️), and it’s FINALLY set to arrive next week. I pray it will make life easier for her and her diabetes easier to control and monitor. Carrying your pancreas around on the outside is not for wimps. She’s the bravest girl I know. 👊🏻 #aintnobodygottimeforthat #ormoneyforthat #diabetesisexpensive #t1dlookslikeme #livebeyond

School was supposed to start after Labor Day. Instead, we’ve had two heat days and they have yet to return. It’s interesting the power expectations have over moods and attitudes, both theirs and mine. Here’s to the (very) bright side! ☀️ #thatskytho

The Currency of Souls

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