If I were to pick a word for the year as some organized, list-making people do, usually in January when setting goals and such, I would hesitantly circle around and land on HUMILITY. It's only taken me ten months to arrive at that conclusion, but hindsight has perfect vision and "better late than never" is, sadly, my life motto, courtesy of overwhelming experience.
I wouldn't decide on "humility" because I want to learn more about it necessarily, or because I feel like I need a good dose of it in my life, although some days I certainly do. But as I look back, I feel like the the Lord has been bringing me to a place of humility time and time again.
The year began with the birth of our fifth baby on the horizon in early February. I was nesting and felt pretty good, considering I'd done this several times before. But I was a decade older now with four other children to chase after, and lets face it--I was TIRED. All. The. Time.
So things needed to wait. The house, with all its looming projects and boxes demanding organization, had to take a backseat to the everyday tasks I was struggling to keep up with. Bending over to load the dishwasher became impossible for my back, and I had to ask for help. A couple weeks before the baby was due, two of my grandparents suffered a series of health issues and finally passed away. The baby arrived a day after my grandmother's funeral.
As the months following his birth began to unfold, I suffered more than ever before with postpartum depression and also a condition commonly known as: children. Not only did it become painfully obvious that any control I thought I had over my life was a farce, but it also became glaringly clear that I needed help.
Help in the form of a husband willing to get up and take over the morning duties of packing lunches and getting kids off to school so I could try to earn back the sleep that was deducted during night feedings. Help with carpooling, meals, and laundry. Help in the form of little blue pills that gave me back a middle ground and kept my thoughts from running away from me like grains of sand spilling through a sieve. Help finding a new normal as a family of seven by letting go of the normal that used to be.
Humility isn't something you ask for: it's a state in which God keeps you, if you let Him.
Humility is a gift from the Giver, if we have our hands open to receive it.
Humility is an invitation for a new set of eyes to see the world as He does, a new heart to relentlessly and lavishly put others above ourselves, and a new set of lungs with which to breathe in and savor an abundant life.
I can see a myriad of ways the Lord has graciously brought me to my knees, reminding me, once again, that He's in control. He is God and I am not, and He's plenty capable of filling that role. So I'm going to take the month to write about some of those experiences and hopefully encourage you all in the process.
Join me?
Read on here...
- Confessions {day 2}
- All of Life is Repentance {day 3}
- Know What You Don't Know {day 4}
- Make Room for the Journey {day 5}
- Can You Hear Him Walking? {day 6}
- Even When You Don't Have Enough, Build a Bigger Table Anyways {day 10}
- Dear Doctor, I Need Help {day 17}
- God Chooses to See Only Jesus in Me
- There's Freedom in Embracing the Tension
- His Kindness Leads Us to Repentance
- Honest Self-Assessment
- A Grateful Heart
- When Life Is Stressful
- The Ability to Speak the Truth in Love is Not a Right but a Privilege That Must Be Earned
- Further Thoughts on Speaking the Truth in Love
- Ministry is Messy...and It's Supposed to Be
- Where Division Exists So Does Pride, and Other Thoughts on Loving Well Post-Election
- The Angry Stress Monster