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Meeting God in the mundane + Finding joy and grace in the mess of motherhood, ministry, and urban missions

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Two Things to Remember When It Seems Like the World Is Falling Apart

October 27, 2017 Jacqui
{Note: This is less "road to urban missions" and more of a typical "meeting God in the mundane" post, but I started it over two weeks ago and didn't want it to get lost in the shuffle. Also, I didn't have another blog post ready! The Write 31 Days struggle is real...}

{Note: This is less "road to urban missions" and more of a typical "meeting God in the mundane" post, but I started it over two weeks ago and didn't want it to get lost in the shuffle. Also, I didn't have another blog post ready! The Write 31 Days struggle is real...}

The world feels heavy and scary these days. I struggle to know how much of reality to share with my children, how often to watch the news, or whether or not to keep track of the rising death tolls as I go about the mundane tasks of my day. 

While I often have a lengthy thoughts, they are seldom quick. In general, it takes me a while to process: Things. Feelings. Events. Conversations. Truth... Though I sometimes wish I possessed more prompt and "tweetable" wit,  I do treasure the wisdom exuded when thoughts are allowed time to steep. At the end of the day, however, we must work with what we've got. 

One morning after the tragic shooting in Las Vegas, the littles and I embarked on our normal walk to preschool. It was pleasantly sunny, and the golden rays shimmered through the trees dancing in the breeze, creating a shadow mosaic on the sidewalk at our feet.

Whenever tragedy strikes, the quote from Mr. Rogers always seems to surface. It's become almost as predictable as Micheal Jackson eating popcorn in the comment section, and I've learned to expect it.

Photo Source

Photo Source

Look for the helpers. There will always be helpers.

Do good. Make a difference today.

Notice the beautiful. Pay attention.

Create something. 

People have different of ways of reorienting themselves to life and truth after a catastrophe, some with mantras that shift focus from the evil of the world back to the good that exists in spite of it. I've heard every single one of these this week. Don't get me wrong--these are all good ideas. Positive, helpful, and even life-giving. The issue with every last one of them, though, is they're focused externally, "out there," when the real problem is an internal one: the depravity of the human heart.

No external focus is going to fix an internal problem, however good the intentions. Change has to begin in our heart. And it was in the still of that casual morning stroll to school that the Lord began to speak into mine.

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Thank you

Though my heart was hurting for our chaotic world, I reminded myself to look up and feel the warm glow on my face. To breathe deep the fresh air and relish the cool breeze as we walked. The weather has been unseasonably warm here in Cleveland, blessing us with an extended summer.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess. 5:18

But it struck me that it wasn't enough to just notice the beauty, to appreciate its warmth on my skin. God asks us to take it a step further and give thanks, because counting blessings reshapes a heart. Gratitude turns what we have into enough, gives us eyes to see more like Jesus, and slowly creates a heart eager to praise the Giver of good gifts in all things. 

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It's almost mid-October, and very few trees have changed color. The late dry spell has left the ground parched, and instead of reaching their pinnacle of glory, many of the leaves have begun to wither and brown on the branches.

"There's a lot of people who are upset about this, the way the leaves have started to die on the trees," said the elderly man we passed in the parking lot.

"Do you see these brown spots?" he asked. I nodded. "The leaves can't keep up with the lack of water. There hasn't been enough rain. I've never seen anything like it, but it doesn't bother me."

I could hear the trees gently rustling in the wind as he walked away, and I noticed for the first time that they sounded different this year. Crinkly almost, like cellophane. I'd never heard anything like it. And I realized that even in the midst of drought and decay, God was doing a new thing. He always is, in the most unlikely of places.

Look who we found in a vacant lot in the middle of a crowded city! Unlikely places, indeed. 

Look who we found in a vacant lot in the middle of a crowded city! Unlikely places, indeed. 

I trust You

When we arrived at preschool, my daughter gave my leg a quick squeeze and bounded off to check out the new library books. She loves flipping though their pages, eyes wide with interest, as she uncovers the details of each story and runs her hand over their textured pictures. 

I remember when I first learned how to read stories for myself, especially chapter books, and I would peek at the last chapter to see how the story ended. I just needed to know how everything turned out, and it gave me motivation to finish the pages in between. As an adult I have far more self-restraint, and I find myself at a point now where I don't want to spoil the ending or ruin the surprise, and I want to be able to relish all the details as they unfold.

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But I am thankful that, as Christians, we know how the story ends. God, like any loving Father, does his best to calm the anxious fears of His children. The bible not only tells us He'll be with us wherever we go, both behind and before us, but in the ultimate merciful spoiler, He's allowed us to peek at the end of the book. Beloveds, we know without a shadow of a doubt how the story ends, and the victory is His!

So when the world makes life feel so uncertain and unpredictable, our hearts don't need to be blown and tossed about like the waves, riding the current of the latest news cycle. We may not know how our personal stories will unfold, but we know who holds them. We can claim our rightful place with the God who walked on water, who can calm the raging storms with a whisper. When everything around us makes it seem otherwise, we can choose to believe the truth: God is in control. 

He's got this, friends--all of it. And He's not through with any of us yet. 

In Write 31 Days Tags Fear, Christian Living, Perspective
← cowering in the shadow of perfection /or/ thriving in the light of truthwe can't out-give God /or/ ye of little faith →

HELLO!


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I'm Jacqui, the mom behind the camera. Wife of one + momma to five. Writer + speaker. Unqualified philosopher + theologian. Accidental mentor. Chaos manager. Lover of coffee + wine, perspective, and Jesus. Truth teller. Freedom fighter. Worth affirmer. Wanna-be author + world changer. Occasional cusser. Laundry piler. Emoji enthusiast. It's nice to meet you!

I hope you'll stay awhile and take a look at life through my lens, as I seek to find joy in the mess and walk with God through the beauty of everyday life.

 

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“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” Francis Chan

This quote has been rolling around in my head lately. But how do we know if what we’re doing matters? That’s the real question.

So often we want the answer to be big and flashy and world-changing (that’s the American Dream, no?)—a program that will alleviate the scourge of poverty, a political leader who will finally turn things around, a magic fix to the growing epidemic of loneliness and hopelessness, or maybe just the ideal version of “me” who has, at last, overcome her insecurities and can effectively leverage her gifts and talents for the betterment of all.

But what if the answer is low to the ground, one found only by stooping down, by lying in the dirt with the suffering, staying there as long as it takes to be seen, and only rising when we are strong enough to do it together? What if what really matters—the big answer—is a million small, unseen, unnoticed, unpraised acts of sacrificial love?
“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” Francis Chan This quote has been rolling around in my head lately. But how do we know if what we’re doing matters? That’s the real question. So often we want the answer to be big and flashy and world-changing (that’s the American Dream, no?)—a program that will alleviate the scourge of poverty, a political leader who will finally turn things around, a magic fix to the growing epidemic of loneliness and hopelessness, or maybe just the ideal version of “me” who has, at last, overcome her insecurities and can effectively leverage her gifts and talents for the betterment of all. But what if the answer is low to the ground, one found only by stooping down, by lying in the dirt with the suffering, staying there as long as it takes to be seen, and only rising when we are strong enough to do it together? What if what really matters—the big answer—is a million small, unseen, unnoticed, unpraised acts of sacrificial love?
Year three, buddy. Let’s give it all we’ve got. 🌬🎂🎉 Also, please note that his birthday was actually the 6th. #5thkidproblems #wecannotbegoodatallthethings 🤷🏼‍♀️
Year three, buddy. Let’s give it all we’ve got. 🌬🎂🎉 Also, please note that his birthday was actually the 6th. #5thkidproblems #wecannotbegoodatallthethings 🤷🏼‍♀️
It’s the last day of school for the week, and the only thing I L💗VE more than Friday is a Thursday that feels like one. Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all!

Also, if someone signs up for your mailing list with an email address that literally reads, “stuffiwontread@______.com”, that’s a good sign, right? 🧐 Asking for a friend. 😂
It’s the last day of school for the week, and the only thing I L💗VE more than Friday is a Thursday that feels like one. Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all! Also, if someone signs up for your mailing list with an email address that literally reads, “stuffiwontread@______.com”, that’s a good sign, right? 🧐 Asking for a friend. 😂
Sweet girl, when’s the last
time you saw your reflection
and thought, “it is good”?
2/11/19

#dailyhaiku
Sweet girl, when’s the last time you saw your reflection and thought, “it is good”? 2/11/19 #dailyhaiku
#ifgathering2019 🔥🔥🔥
#ifgathering2019 🔥🔥🔥
There’s a Soup-er Bowl party every year at church where we all cook up our tastiest batch of soup as a dinner offering, with a side of competition. And also jalapeños, in this case. My culinary brainchild (to which my daughter said, “what does that mean?!?! 🧐😂) this year is Hot Pickle Cheese Soup. It will either be the hottest new trend in cooking or complete crap (likely somewhere in between, but that lacks the dramatic flare I naturally gravitate towards, so 🤷🏼‍♀️💃🏻). Will report back. 👌🏻♥️🥒🧀
There’s a Soup-er Bowl party every year at church where we all cook up our tastiest batch of soup as a dinner offering, with a side of competition. And also jalapeños, in this case. My culinary brainchild (to which my daughter said, “what does that mean?!?! 🧐😂) this year is Hot Pickle Cheese Soup. It will either be the hottest new trend in cooking or complete crap (likely somewhere in between, but that lacks the dramatic flare I naturally gravitate towards, so 🤷🏼‍♀️💃🏻). Will report back. 👌🏻♥️🥒🧀
What’s the most logical thing to do in the midst of a polar vortex, you ask? Go swimming. Obviously. 😂 We have some pretty cool (crazy? 🤪) friends who roll like that, though, & they blessed us with an overnight stay at a hotel. ♥️ Food, friends, games, & fun. Also, a lack of level zero voices & noise complaints. We cannot be good at all the things. Bless. 💃🏻😜
What’s the most logical thing to do in the midst of a polar vortex, you ask? Go swimming. Obviously. 😂 We have some pretty cool (crazy? 🤪) friends who roll like that, though, & they blessed us with an overnight stay at a hotel. ♥️ Food, friends, games, & fun. Also, a lack of level zero voices & noise complaints. We cannot be good at all the things. Bless. 💃🏻😜
I mean, it’s worth a thought. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 Just sayin. 😋🌮 #tacotuesday #itssimplytuesday
I mean, it’s worth a thought. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 Just sayin. 😋🌮 #tacotuesday #itssimplytuesday
Day 12 // PROGRESS
.
“We’re created in 
the image of God, we bruised 
and battered people.

And this is WORSHIP:
the seeing rightly of us
and calling it GOOD.”
.
I still write best late at night, a little bleary-eyed from truth, a glass of wine in hand (Riesling, please), the words doing the hard work of building a bridge from my heart out into the world, one character at a time.

I looked back over those lines above, hastily written in my Story last night, and thought, DAYUM...that sounds good! 😂😇 (Humility is a work in progress, y’all) But WHY does it sound so good? 🧐 Oh, right. It’s a haiku, or at least I think it is. And can you string two of them together like I just did? I don’t know these things. Also, how can such depth, truth, wonder, and magic be contained in so few syllables? And how does poetry speak the language of the soul? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not sure about that either.

What I can say definitively today, however, is Progress Shmogress. Let’s keep showing up as our truest selves, and I have a feeling “progress” will take care of itself. ♥️ #hopewriterlife @hopewriters
.
P.S. I bet you’ll never be able to guess which feet are mine. 😂😂😂
Day 12 // PROGRESS . “We’re created in the image of God, we bruised and battered people. And this is WORSHIP: the seeing rightly of us and calling it GOOD.” . I still write best late at night, a little bleary-eyed from truth, a glass of wine in hand (Riesling, please), the words doing the hard work of building a bridge from my heart out into the world, one character at a time. I looked back over those lines above, hastily written in my Story last night, and thought, DAYUM...that sounds good! 😂😇 (Humility is a work in progress, y’all) But WHY does it sound so good? 🧐 Oh, right. It’s a haiku, or at least I think it is. And can you string two of them together like I just did? I don’t know these things. Also, how can such depth, truth, wonder, and magic be contained in so few syllables? And how does poetry speak the language of the soul? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not sure about that either. What I can say definitively today, however, is Progress Shmogress. Let’s keep showing up as our truest selves, and I have a feeling “progress” will take care of itself. ♥️ #hopewriterlife @hopewriters . P.S. I bet you’ll never be able to guess which feet are mine. 😂😂😂
Day 11 // FEELING

You know the Enneagram 4’s have been waiting all week for this one, right? 🙌🏻😉 In other news, I sobbed uncontrollably again tonight while watching the bonus content in The Greatest Showman about the creation of the song This Is Me and the subsequent discovery of Keala Settle (the Bearded Lady). You guys, if you can get your hands on this 10 minute clip, WATCH IT. And while I’m still unpacking the origin of such a visceral reaction, I will say this: when you “are” your feelings as I am most days (#enneagram4problems), the shame you experience and inflict upon yourself as a result this is palpable. It’s tangible, undeniable, and vivid. It can feel more true and real than God. Deep cuts the message, the lingering wound, that I’m missing something vital, important, something everyone else seems to have but I lack.
.
“The sharpest words wanna cut me down,” she sings, and from my experience, the most lethal ones come from within. They wield the longest blade and penetrate the deepest caverns of my soul. Unseen from the outside, their abuse goes unnoticed. Shame is the ultimate assassin, but I will not let it have the last word. There is freedom in being rightly named, and I will sing it over and over and over again until it rings true:
.
“I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me”
.
#hopewriterlife @hopewriters
Day 11 // FEELING You know the Enneagram 4’s have been waiting all week for this one, right? 🙌🏻😉 In other news, I sobbed uncontrollably again tonight while watching the bonus content in The Greatest Showman about the creation of the song This Is Me and the subsequent discovery of Keala Settle (the Bearded Lady). You guys, if you can get your hands on this 10 minute clip, WATCH IT. And while I’m still unpacking the origin of such a visceral reaction, I will say this: when you “are” your feelings as I am most days (#enneagram4problems), the shame you experience and inflict upon yourself as a result this is palpable. It’s tangible, undeniable, and vivid. It can feel more true and real than God. Deep cuts the message, the lingering wound, that I’m missing something vital, important, something everyone else seems to have but I lack. . “The sharpest words wanna cut me down,” she sings, and from my experience, the most lethal ones come from within. They wield the longest blade and penetrate the deepest caverns of my soul. Unseen from the outside, their abuse goes unnoticed. Shame is the ultimate assassin, but I will not let it have the last word. There is freedom in being rightly named, and I will sing it over and over and over again until it rings true: . “I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be, this is me Look out 'cause here I come And I'm marching on to the beat I drum I'm not scared to be seen I make no apologies, this is me” . #hopewriterlife @hopewriters
 

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