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Meeting God in the mundane + Finding grace in the mess

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oh come all ye hot, bored, and hungry

February 24, 2021 Jacqui
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we don’t care why you came, only that you’re here

They had been wandering in on Sunday mornings for a few weeks now. A set of siblings, two girls and a boy. There were no parents in sight, just the three of them. It was the height of summer and hot as a greenhouse in Cleveland, and still, they’d be out pacing the sidewalks of the neighborhood in the scorching midday.

They probably decided to come inside just to get out of the sun. It was clear they hadn’t been to church before: They didn’t know where to sit or how to act. That the questions from the pulpit were, in fact, rhetorical, or that yell-singing off-key to every song wasn’t likely to garner them any endearment. On many of these sweltering days, this group of kids would slowly wear down the patience of their pew neighbors, eventually eliciting some mild throat clearing or an exaggerated side-eye. It was usually around that time that my husband would give me a nudge and say something like, “those kids are having a hard time. Let’s go engage them.”

They, of course, were thrilled by this development and communicated as such by protesting our presence and questioning our authority to say anything to them at all. But we’d just get comfortable and wear out our welcome. Once they realized we weren’t intimidated or insulted by them and that we weren’t going anywhere, they’d settled down.

After church everyone goes downstairs to the cafe to enjoy warm coffee and homemade pastries, and these kids quickly learned they could panhandle their way to a gourmet breakfast. No sooner did they shove a chocolate cupcake into their mouth and wipe away any evidence with a sleeve, and they were sauntering up to another unsuspecting pateron with an outstretched hand. People were all too happy to oblige for a mere $0.50. It was a wonder to behold. Maybe this is why they kept coming back week after week. 

One particular Sunday, it was just the two girls. After a predictable progression of events, I took a seat in the pew directly in front of them and offered a gentle “shhhhh,” which, also predictably, was met with gestures of protest. 

“Man, this is more boring than school...” 

“Sometimes it kinda is,” I replied. (*truth* ….. sorry pastors) “But we still need to be quiet and respectful during service so people can listen.” 

When it came time for communion toward the end, folks at the front of the church started filing out of the pews and forming a line down the center aisle. It suddenly occurred to me that these kids probably had no idea what’s going on. Turning in my seat, I whispered to them, “has anyone ever explained to you why we take communion?”

“No.”

Okay. So, what the bible tells us is that we’ve all sinned––we’ve done and thought bad things––and fallen short of the perfect life God wants for us. But we’re in trouble because the penalty of sin is death, and we can’t save ourselves. So over 2,000 years ago, God came to earth as a man, Jesus, to live a perfect life for us. Even though he lived a sinless life, he was nailed to a cross.

The little girl's eyes grew wide.

By dying on the cross for us, He took our place and saved us from eternal death. And if you believe this, that Jesus died for you, that he took your place, then He will rescue you, too.

Her eyes grew wider still. And it occurs to me right about now how very crazy all of this sounds, especially if you’ve never heard anything about Jesus before. Can you even imagine? How foreign and morbid is the concept of sacrifice in a culture obsessed with self and instant gratification.

So this is why we take communion: we believe that it represents his body that was broken for us and his blood that was shed for us, so that we can live in freedom. We take it and remember what He’s done for us.

When I was finished, she said, “thank you for telling us.”

The next Sunday shortly after the kids arrived at church, an angry parent-figure appeared in the lobby and, yelling at them and gesturing wildly, marched them right back out the door. We never saw them again.


**************

Maybe it doesn’t really matter what brings you to God, only that you come. Maybe it doesn’t matter why you show up, just that you're here. God is big enough to work out all the details, because I’m convinced that whatever you’re seeking, you’ll find it here:

If you’re weary, there’s rest.

If you’re hot, there’s shade.

If you’re hungry, taste the bread of life.

(I hear it’s even better than the pastries.)

If you’re thirsty, there’s living water.

If you’re lost, you will be found.

If you’re blind, now you can see.

If you’re bored, wake up to wonder.

If you're lonely, find a friend in Jesus.

If you're desperate, there’s hope.

If you’re overwhelmed, there’s community.

If you’re disappointed, let’s grieve together.

If you’re sad, anxious, or depressed, you’ll fit right in.

If you’re happy but hollow, seek and you’ll find more.

If you feel dead inside, I’d like you to meet the Living God.

Oh come, all ye unfaithful. Just come.

P.S. I begrudgingly came to a protestant church for the first time in 1997. It wasn’t horrible. I stayed for the cute boys…..and a sense of belonging.

P.P.S. I’m still here, both for the cute boy and the belonging. ;) And also, God. He uses all of it, friends. Nothing is wasted.

In Real Church
3 Comments

what being a pastor in the city taught me

June 6, 2018 Jacqui
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The word "ministry" evokes a wide range of emotions, opinions, and ideas, especially from those in the Church. What makes a ministry successful, fruitful, and sustainable? What exactly should ministry look like? In the end, who is ministering to whom? Today's post is the first ever guest post on this blog and is written by our friend and former Pastor, Charlie Collier. This is a man who handed out his personal cell number to homeless drifters and church members alike, a man who valued the teaching of women enough to share his pulpit with them, and a man who loved this city and its people in a uniquely tangible way. Their family has been a blessing to all of us during their time here, and they will all be dearly missed! Here's what he learned about ministry as he pastored our church in the city of Cleveland for over a decade…

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In Real Church, Grace, Urban Ministry, Freedom, Guest Post Tags Cleveland, Pastor, Grace, Real Church, Anxiety
2 Comments

The Good Samaritan: A Sermon on Luke 10:25-37

September 4, 2017 Jacqui
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If you'd like to listen, this is my sermon from this past Sunday on The Parable of the Good Samaritan from Luke 10. {Note: This is a recording from service, which includes an introduction by the pastor.}

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[c]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d]”

28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[e] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

In Real Church, Social Justice, Surrender Tags Sermons, Good Samaritan, Love, Audio
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Good {hard, frustrating, exhausting, messy} Works

June 26, 2017 Jacqui
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For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

 

This summer is just...different.

So far it’s noticeably cooler, today being no exception. I happen to love mid-70’s with a breeze so I’m thrilled, but the kids aren’t as excited about freezing to death during swimming lessons.

And the house is much quieter these days. One of the neighborhood kids moved away at the end of the school year, and although she’s less than a mile away, we haven’t seen her since. Another kid grew up a lot this past year and is on to bigger but not always better things. I’ve had to be more intentional about reaching out to the the kids who used to occasionally wander over on their own.

I don’t know that I realized the good works for what they were until they didn’t start happening as easily anymore. Until I had to work a little harder for opportunities and track down missing kids at different houses like I look for pacifiers under couches.

As much as I loved having those kids around all the time, they made for a lot of work. Because, you see, good works are often hard works and messy works and uncomfortable works at times, and those things tend to piss off an already stressed and overwhelmed momma. Just a little bit.

There was dirty shoes on the carpet and cursing in the kitchen. There were broken decorations and trampled belongings as their teenage feet bounded around the house. There were mature conversations to be confronted, again, due to the presence of little ears. There was fighting and name calling and punching and figuring out how to talk about things instead. Encouraging one another and talking about Jesus and our day at the dinner table.

But when you put a bunch of sinful people in a little house together, when you squeeze them all around a table like a pack of hotdogs, you’re bound to annoy and frustrate each other. Relationships are where you do the messy, uncomfortable work of loving, stretching, growing, compromising, forgiving, and offering grace, again. And again. Doing good works is hard work and it will inevitably piss you off, but I’m convinced now that’s how you know you’re doing it right.*

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There were a million annoyances; there was abundant chaos, and yet, so much richness. So much love and acceptance, trust and truth. And these days when we have quiet afternoons (by “quiet,” I mean still probably louder than 99% of other houses, because 5 kids) of reading and crafts and movies and I can hear the trees dancing outside in the summer breeze, I find myself missing it and hoping they’d walk through the front door.**

We tend to think that if we’re “doing God’s will,” participating in the work He has for us while we’re here, that it will be easy. That the road will be free of bumps and curves and we won’t stumble as the doors open wide ahead of us. But I’ve found just the opposite to be true. That death is unavoidably tethered to new life like winter comes before spring and the sunshine after the rain.

It’s God’s plan of redemption, of making all things new, of grace. It’s the way to a life that is rich and deep and exhausting and fulfilling in a way that a sterile, safe, comfortable life never could be, for it’s found in laying it down.
 

 

*Would you like to partner with us as we love, serve, and share Jesus with those who are vulnerable and hurting in Cleveland? We’d love for you to walk this journey alongside us. Find out more HERE.

**Y’all, as I tapped out the final words of that sentence on my dusty keyboard, I heard the telltale knock of the neighborhood kids at our front door for the first time in almost two months. No joke. God is busy answering prayers before we’re even aware of our need or have the wherewithal to utter them from our lips. Never doubt that.

In Urban Ministry, Surrender, Real Church Tags Ministry
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Tangible Jesus

April 5, 2017 Jacqui
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I can’t remember the last time I had tears streaming down my face, cheeks wet with the stains of grief.

Maybe I’ve been too busy.

Maybe I’ve been numb to the world and its issues or numb to my own pain.

One of the neighborhood girls was going through a difficult time, an unprecedented loss. And because God often needs to reveal our brokenness before there’s any openness to Him, I took the opportunity to invite her to church.

I don’t know why God allows loss and pain, why He calls us to walk through brokenness, but I do know that it’s in those times we learn the only One who can truly satisfy is Him and Him alone. It’s a road no one would ever choose to travel but one that is necessary for a forgetful world all too easily assured they can do it on their own.

The morning was rough, and the tears started early. For some things there are no words, just a deep groaning and creaking of the soul as it bears down under the weight of the world, awaiting the new life born out of the pain. Putting my arm around her, I sat close.

When it was time for communion, we stopped to pray together, and the Lord began to wring the drenched towel of my heart, wet with the grief I silently soaked up during service. I wept.

I grabbed her in a bear hug from the side, my head pressed against hers, and whispered prayers in her ear as we cried together.

Lord, please comfort her in her pain.

We know you’re close to the brokenhearted.

Replace her anxious thoughts with a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Lord, hold her close and let her know you’re here. She needs you.

….I AM.

Clear as the salt water running down my face, it resonated in my heart.

I AM.

It almost took my breath away.

I am holding her, said Jesus, because you are.

In Urban Ministry, Real Church Tags Loss, Grief
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HELLO!


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I'm Jacqui, the mom behind the camera. Wife of one + momma to five. Writer + speaker. Unqualified philosopher + theologian. Accidental mentor. Chaos manager. Lover of coffee + wine, perspective, and Jesus. Truth teller. Freedom fighter. Worth affirmer. Wanna-be author + world changer. Laundry piler. Emoji enthusiast. It's nice to meet you!

I hope you'll stay awhile and take a look at life through my lens, as I seek to find joy in the mess and walk with God through the beauty of everyday life.

 

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That last-week-of-school hustle is reeeeaaal. 😩👊🏻😴
That last-week-of-school hustle is reeeeaaal. 😩👊🏻😴
Oh haaay, summer, haaay!! ✨😎 It’s almost 90 degrees with a breeze here in CLE, & we’re not minding one little bit. We just got back from a Target run, as one does on a Saturday. 🎯 I swept yesterday’s chalk dust and all the hel
Oh haaay, summer, haaay!! ✨😎 It’s almost 90 degrees with a breeze here in CLE, & we’re not minding one little bit. We just got back from a Target run, as one does on a Saturday. 🎯 I swept yesterday’s chalk dust and all the helicopters off the porch (as far as propagating strategies go, this is a very good one. Those suckers are EVERYWHERE!), and now I’m watching my little corner of the world go by from my second-hand rocking chair on the porch, iced coffee in hand. And it’s so, so good to be right here. In this moment, in this place: the wind tugging at my hair, the kids arguing about something in the backyard, the wind chimes next door, the dogs sunning themselves at my feet. These are the days. This is the abundant life. And I wouldn’t trade it for the whole wide world. My corner is enough.
I used to think the old woman who lived in a shoe was nuts. I mean, why in the world would you choose live in a shoe? With all those kids?? 😱 And withholding the bread? Straight up neglect. Some versions say she kissed them fondly, but we all know t
I used to think the old woman who lived in a shoe was nuts. I mean, why in the world would you choose live in a shoe? With all those kids?? 😱 And withholding the bread? Straight up neglect. Some versions say she kissed them fondly, but we all know that mean broad spanked the daylights out of them before sending them straight to bed. Then I became a parent. Life has a way of waking you up to realities that are literally impossible to understand until you’re completely immersed in the incessant demands of a sacrificial season, or in some cases, a sacrificial existence. And you can fathom now how life can wear a person down to a shell of who they were, how one unfortunate circumstance can tragically alter a trajectory. And you finally realize that no one chooses to live in a shoe. A shoe is where you live when you have no choices, when you’re out of options, when it’s either a shoe or the streets. She had so many children she didn’t know what to do—so many mouths to feed every day. If broth and bread is all she could afford, there might not have been enough to go around. She didn’t ration out of neglect but rather out of necessity. And she whipped them all soundly before she put them to bed because she didn’t have anything left. Because she’s an overwhelmed, exhausted single mom without a shred of a support system. She never gets a break. Carrying the weight of their survival solely on her weary shoulders, she beats them now so the police won’t later. She whoops them because she cares, and that’s the only way she ever learned how to show it. . ...and what you can see now is, she loves them.
Anyone else feel the pull to show up here every so often to say, “Hey! I’m still busy doing things! My life is still interesting! And it matters! And here’s why…” When I feel compelled or obligated to do something, for
Anyone else feel the pull to show up here every so often to say, “Hey! I’m still busy doing things! My life is still interesting! And it matters! And here’s why…” When I feel compelled or obligated to do something, for whatever reason, one of the best things I can do for myself, at least for a little while, is….don’t. Don’t log on. Don’t post for the heck of posting. Don’t force something that doesn’t want to come. And I let the silence begin to speak for itself. God speaks in a whisper, you know, but how often are we quiet enough to hear it? And how exactly did we arrive at the place where our worth was determined by the number of hearts tapped out on 2x2 squares? It sounds quite ridiculous when it’s all spelled out like that, doesn’t it?
This is how we showed up at church tonight—legit looking like maybe we just crawled out of a garbage dump. Or at least a construction zone. 🚧 It’s actually worse than it looks and literally the best I’ve got this week. Bless it. Al
This is how we showed up at church tonight—legit looking like maybe we just crawled out of a garbage dump. Or at least a construction zone. 🚧 It’s actually worse than it looks and literally the best I’ve got this week. Bless it. Also, the nursery worker made them wash hands before snack, so we’re good. What matters is that we showed up. On time, in fact, which is no small miracle in and of itself. . ✨All that is required of us is that we arrive as our truest selves. And today? We’re filthy. So, here’s a gentle reminder to you, fellow traveler: come dirty, come late, come ill-prepared or even irate. Come with a smile on your face, or come because you need some grace. Come stressed, come sweaty, come imperfect, even petty. Just come, in spite of your mess, and trust that God will take care of the rest. He always does. See for yourself. ➡️
These jokers are my favorite. 💖 #happymothersday
These jokers are my favorite. 💖 #happymothersday
‘Tis the season. 💜🌸 The only problem is choosing just one! 🤩 So I didn’t. 😬

Did you know that lilacs only bloom for 1-2 weeks a year? Kinda makes you wonder about humanity’s over-emphasis on “blooming”—always
‘Tis the season. 💜🌸 The only problem is choosing just one! 🤩 So I didn’t. 😬 Did you know that lilacs only bloom for 1-2 weeks a year? Kinda makes you wonder about humanity’s over-emphasis on “blooming”—always producing, striving, hustling, creating output. Even if we’re blooming where we’re planted, as the saying goes, it’s brief. Stunning, yes. Breathtaking, yes. Colorful, vibrant, full of life, yes please. But also short-lived. Temporary. Fleeting. Seasons are not only temporary but necessary. Don’t focus so much on the fruit that you miss the seasons of watching and waiting, of hunkering down when the landscape is barren and learning to weather the storms. These create the fertile soil in which flowers grow. 💜
*new headshot* 😬
*new headshot* 😬
Today is Good Friday, and it arrived exactly how I always picture it—the sky weeping, the earth soaked with tears. This is the inevitable darkness that must come before the morning, the necessary death which precedes resurrection. This heartbre
Today is Good Friday, and it arrived exactly how I always picture it—the sky weeping, the earth soaked with tears. This is the inevitable darkness that must come before the morning, the necessary death which precedes resurrection. This heartbreaking pattern of life is something my human heart always struggles to embrace as “the way.” Surely, there has to be another (less painful) avenue toward truth and life? . Selfishly, I want what we all think we want at the end of the day: a life of comfort and ease. We quickly realize, however, that comfort is fleeting and ease is overrated. With each excruciating step up the hill of Calvary, Jesus reminds us again: every good and perfect gift arrives on the other side of death. It is finished, forever and ever. Amen.
Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
—Rumi
Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. —Rumi
 

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