January 25

January 25, 2016 Jacqui

HELLO!

I'm Jacqui, the mom behind the camera. Wife of one + momma to five. Writer + speaker. Unqualified philosopher + theologian. Accidental mentor. Chaos manager. Lover of coffee + wine, perspective, and Jesus. Truth teller. Freedom fighter. Worth affirmer. Wanna-be author + world changer. Occasional cusser. Laundry piler. Emoji enthusiast. It's nice to meet you!

I hope you'll stay awhile and take a look at life through my lens, as I seek to find joy in the mess and walk with God through the beauty of everyday life.

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“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” Francis Chan This quote has been rolling around in my head lately. But how do we know if what we’re doing matters? That’s the real question. So often we want the answer to be big and flashy and world-changing (that’s the American Dream, no?)—a program that will alleviate the scourge of poverty, a political leader who will finally turn things around, a magic fix to the growing epidemic of loneliness and hopelessness, or maybe just the ideal version of “me” who has, at last, overcome her insecurities and can effectively leverage her gifts and talents for the betterment of all. But what if the answer is low to the ground, one found only by stooping down, by lying in the dirt with the suffering, staying there as long as it takes to be seen, and only rising when we are strong enough to do it together? What if what really matters—the big answer—is a million small, unseen, unnoticed, unpraised acts of sacrificial love?

Year three, buddy. Let’s give it all we’ve got. 🌬🎂🎉 Also, please note that his birthday was actually the 6th. #5thkidproblems #wecannotbegoodatallthethings 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s the last day of school for the week, and the only thing I L💗VE more than Friday is a Thursday that feels like one. Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all! Also, if someone signs up for your mailing list with an email address that literally reads, “stuffiwontread@______.com”, that’s a good sign, right? 🧐 Asking for a friend. 😂

Sweet girl, when’s the last time you saw your reflection and thought, “it is good”? 2/11/19 #dailyhaiku

#ifgathering2019 🔥🔥🔥

There’s a Soup-er Bowl party every year at church where we all cook up our tastiest batch of soup as a dinner offering, with a side of competition. And also jalapeños, in this case. My culinary brainchild (to which my daughter said, “what does that mean?!?! 🧐😂) this year is Hot Pickle Cheese Soup. It will either be the hottest new trend in cooking or complete crap (likely somewhere in between, but that lacks the dramatic flare I naturally gravitate towards, so 🤷🏼‍♀️💃🏻). Will report back. 👌🏻♥️🥒🧀

What’s the most logical thing to do in the midst of a polar vortex, you ask? Go swimming. Obviously. 😂 We have some pretty cool (crazy? 🤪) friends who roll like that, though, & they blessed us with an overnight stay at a hotel. ♥️ Food, friends, games, & fun. Also, a lack of level zero voices & noise complaints. We cannot be good at all the things. Bless. 💃🏻😜

I mean, it’s worth a thought. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 Just sayin. 😋🌮 #tacotuesday #itssimplytuesday

Day 12 // PROGRESS . “We’re created in the image of God, we bruised and battered people. And this is WORSHIP: the seeing rightly of us and calling it GOOD.” . I still write best late at night, a little bleary-eyed from truth, a glass of wine in hand (Riesling, please), the words doing the hard work of building a bridge from my heart out into the world, one character at a time. I looked back over those lines above, hastily written in my Story last night, and thought, DAYUM...that sounds good! 😂😇 (Humility is a work in progress, y’all) But WHY does it sound so good? 🧐 Oh, right. It’s a haiku, or at least I think it is. And can you string two of them together like I just did? I don’t know these things. Also, how can such depth, truth, wonder, and magic be contained in so few syllables? And how does poetry speak the language of the soul? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not sure about that either. What I can say definitively today, however, is Progress Shmogress. Let’s keep showing up as our truest selves, and I have a feeling “progress” will take care of itself. ♥️ #hopewriterlife @hopewriters . P.S. I bet you’ll never be able to guess which feet are mine. 😂😂😂

Day 11 // FEELING You know the Enneagram 4’s have been waiting all week for this one, right? 🙌🏻😉 In other news, I sobbed uncontrollably again tonight while watching the bonus content in The Greatest Showman about the creation of the song This Is Me and the subsequent discovery of Keala Settle (the Bearded Lady). You guys, if you can get your hands on this 10 minute clip, WATCH IT. And while I’m still unpacking the origin of such a visceral reaction, I will say this: when you “are” your feelings as I am most days (#enneagram4problems), the shame you experience and inflict upon yourself as a result this is palpable. It’s tangible, undeniable, and vivid. It can feel more true and real than God. Deep cuts the message, the lingering wound, that I’m missing something vital, important, something everyone else seems to have but I lack. . “The sharpest words wanna cut me down,” she sings, and from my experience, the most lethal ones come from within. They wield the longest blade and penetrate the deepest caverns of my soul. Unseen from the outside, their abuse goes unnoticed. Shame is the ultimate assassin, but I will not let it have the last word. There is freedom in being rightly named, and I will sing it over and over and over again until it rings true: . “I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be, this is me Look out 'cause here I come And I'm marching on to the beat I drum I'm not scared to be seen I make no apologies, this is me” . #hopewriterlife @hopewriters