October 9: Write 31 Days: Ha, That's Life

Here's a light-hearted post for your Friday...

Conversation #1:

My husband called yesterday as I was on my way to pick up the kids from school, late as usual and slightly discombobulated.

Ring...  Ring...  Ring...  Ring...

Me: {trying to maneuver around a curve while fumbling for the phone and also attempting to drive and hold my mug of iced coffee in hand; answers, pushes speaker phone button, slightly exasperated} ...Hi!!...

Husband: Hi. You're on speaker phone.

Me: Ya, sorry... I'm in the car on the way to get the kids from school. I should be there already, but I'm running late, of course, and I'm trying to drive and hold my cup of coffee, so I didn't have anywhere else to put you except in my bra.

Husband: Um, no... YOU are on speaker phone. I just wanted to let you know.

Me: Bwahahahah.... Well then. There's that.

Now that we have this incredibly awkward introduction out of the way, you were saying, my dear?


Conversation #2:

Child 1 and Child 2 were having a discussion in the kitchen, and they came to tell us about it.

Child 1: {with smirk on face} Child 2 said "dick."

Daddy: That's not a nice word, so let's not say that again.

Child 2: {with quizzical look} What...does it mean?

Mommy: It's not a very nice word for boys' private parts.

{Child 1 and 2 look at each other and start laughing, along with ew-ing and gross-ing}

Child 2: Well, I didn't know that's what it meant!

Mommy: It's okay, you're fine. But now that you know, that's not a word we should be saying.

Daddy: Well, it's not always a bad word... Sometimes if a man is named Richard, people will call him Dick for short. Like a nickname.

{perplexed and horrified looks exchanged between children. Ya, I know kids, I don't totally understand that one either.}

Child 1: {with wide grin} There's a boy in my class named Richard.

The principal is going to put us on speed dial, I swear. Lawd have mercy...

...and find some time to enjoy the very real, messy life you live this weekend!