"She's so open about her shortcomings that it makes it really hard to use them against her."
It was a line spoken in jest on the Best Friends Whenever episode my daughter wanted to watch this morning.
Huh, I thought. Isn't that freeing.
Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” {John 8:31-32}
The truth breaks down walls, unlocks chains, and sets captives free.
Not only the truth about God and what He thinks of us but the truth about everything. The truth about relationships, gifts, talents, personality, limitations, resources, and support.
Lies in any form will keep us behind bars and from reaching our God-given potential, but so often we choose to live there, closing the door of our prison cell with our own hands. We lie to ourselves for many reasons but mostly to try to meet a legitimate need in an illegitimate way. We are desperate for love and affection, we long for approval, we don't want to be in pain, and so we lie.
He would pay more attention to me if only I....
They didn't really mean to treat me that way. I must've just misunderstood.
If only my life were like hers, if I had what she had, then I'd be happy.
I'd be more attractive if I were a couple sizes smaller.
They are really awful people, so it's okay if I rip them apart on social media.
I mean, I know some bad things happened, but it all worked out okay. The past doesn't matter.
Every time I see her, she's so calm and patient with her kids. She's a much better mom than I am.
Those people are all addicted to drugs and don't deserve my money or resources.
This food/person/relationship/workout/thing will make me feel better.
If I'm able to live up to the ideal image of a _________, then I will be satisfied and fulfilled.
Facing the truth about reality is often painful, so painful that many people will go to great lengths to avoid ever having to think about it. We bury the truth, subvert the truth, mask the truth, avoid the truth, and hide the truth, even from ourselves. The truth, while sometimes more painful than we care to imagine, is also more beautiful and freeing than we dare to admit.
We have to be willing to look at things for what they truly are and grieve, if necessary, to live free and out from under the heavy burden of lies that hold us captive.
As a young mother, I lived with the weight of the ideal homemaker, Christian, and wife on my shoulders.
It was exhausting.
Certain ways of doing things, which in and of themselves were efficient and exemplary, were, at least in my experience, portrayed as "the only way." Anything short of that meant, well, you're not very good at this. You failed. You haven't measured up.
I lived in the shadow of this ideal for years, and it literally gnawed away at my soul to the point where I wanted to give up and throw in the towel on the Christian life. I told a friend in confidence on a retreat that I was done. Done trying, done striving. I knew how to "play church" as well as anyone, and I would still show up on Sundays with a smile on my face, but it wouldn't mean anything. I didn't know what else to do.
She didn't know either, but she listened. She welcomed the opportunity to know the real me, truth and all. We half-heartedly agreed to spend more time reading our Bibles.
But as time unfolded, I began to lay those ideals down and grieve their passing. To admit, yes, I will never measure up. And you know what? It's okay. Because I realized "the only Way" that was true and good and perfect and right was Jesus, and there was nothing more I could do then what He had already done for me. Furthermore, His relationship is different and unique with everyone. It's certainly not a one-size-fits-all gig.
It's freeing to realize a lot of the "how to's" preached in Christian circles cater to disciplined, type-A personalities.
Wake up early in the morning, before anyone else, to spend time in the word and prayer.
Read your bible every day.
Journal and apply scripture to your life. Doodles and embellishments optional but highly encouraged.
Get your Read Through the Bible in a Year Plan and start checking off the days.
Make sure to attend a bible study to continue learning and growing.
It's also incredibly freeing to realize that I am not one of those type-A people...
But I spent years upon years trying harder, vowing to do better, setting resolutions, and journaling apologies for my failures, again. Until I finally was able to see the truth that God just didn't make me that way, and it's okay.
Although I may not read my bible daily, the Holy Spirit is ever-present in my heart and ear, and I can meet with Him just as deeply poring over the Word as I can pouring water out of dirty dishes at the kitchen sink.
I can learn about Him while attending a bible study or Christian conference, but I can also learn about Him in the eyes of my children, in their gaze of unwavering love and trust. I can smell Him on the wind as fresh air breathes life into my lungs. I can walk with Him in the cool of the day and know the sound of His footsteps. I can hear His still, small voice as I go about the mundane tasks of my day.
The truth breaks down walls, unlocks chains, and sets captives free, but we have to be willing to humble ourselves to see it. We have to be willing to look it square in the face and own it.
And it's worth it, friends, because when we finally surrender, we find victory in Christ. Walk with Him in humility today.
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This post is part of a series I’m writing for the month of October called, Walking in Humility: Learning to Abide with God in the Everyday. If you’re interested in the reading the rest of the series, you can find it here. Enjoy!